The Squanch: First annual Squanchy Awards

State of the 'Squanch
So as some may have noticed I have not been blogging much lately since the Raptors were a depressing topic in my life and all of our lives. There was no point blogging. I was just regurgitating things since the problems from this team played out in front of use like a broken record. It was just starting to bore the heck out of me.


My Expectations
So the team is out as I suspected they would be and as they deserve to be. If they had made the playoffs I worry that some people would become mislead to thinking that this is a good team. So part of my is glad people didn't get disillusioned about the quality. Part of me is glad that change is coming but I am definitely disappointed. From the beginning of the season after Bryan added Jack, Derozan, Wright, Amir, and Reggie I was optimistic. I knew it was an improvement from last season or at least the team was being pointed in the right direction so yes, I am disappointed. Then again when you look at the rest of the Eastern Conference and see what they have done as well, it should have come as no surprise and so I wasn't surprised but I guess you could say that I was hopeful about this team.

End of year awards: THE FIRST ANNUAL SQUANCHY AWARDS
Lets have a bit of fun and give out some Raptors awards. I know it is cliche and lame but what the heck let's go ahead and do it anyways.


Best Receding Hairline:
Rasho. Special mention to Jose

Best Dressed inactive player award:
Chris Bosh hands down

Worst Dressed inactive player award:
Reggie Evans for looking like a monster out of a sesame street sketch or a muppets party. Special mention to Andrea for his purple maitre d' costume. Umm garcon, hold the Parmesan on the Penne.

Best "Shoelacer":
Jarrett Jack for being a showstopper and providing one of the positive moments in this season.

Worst Interviewer:
Andrea Bargnani for not answering questions asked to him and instead going off on some preconceived rants and looking as comfortable as a kid who just wet his pants. 

Best interview:
"Ball"


Best Dancer:
Sonny "Money" Weems. Probably has a career in teenage rhythm dancing if his NBA career falls through.



Most improved player: 
Sonny "Money" Weems for being better than he was last year. Not really fair since he didn't really do anything last year. So I will have to reluctantly tie him with Andrea Bargnani since he increase his scoring by a few points and grabbed a few more boards and swatted away a few more shots. Andrea's defense sucked but it sucked more last year trust me.


Team MVP:
Chris Bosh obviously with special mention to Jarrett Jack

Team LVP:
Hidyet Turkoglu

Defensive Player of the year: 
No Recipient. If i had to give it to someone I would give it to Antoine but I don't have to do anything I don't want to.


REPORT CARDS:


Marcus Banks: Going from a turd left on our bench by Miami to a fathomable backup point guard is not bad. He certainly didn't disappoint when he was called upon. His price tag still makes me cringe but when you got another guy on the team that is the nuclear equivalent, Marcus Banks looks like a friggin pope. B-

Andrea Bargnani:Needs to work on everything else he was working on but more this summer and like Jay Triano says, he needs to learn the meaning of team defense. Not that stupid shit he does where he reacts to everything like a 2 year old on too much sugar. Maybe we can somehow tether him to his man. It's like this, if he were told just to stick on his own man like glue he would still be better off even if the other team gets a few buckets as a result of it. Better then the crap he's shown us where he completely loses his man somehow. Still scored 17ppg on a team where the next best scorers are closer to 10ppg. It's nothing to sneeze at. The name of the game is still scoring. His rebounding sucks but he improved it. This summer he needs to hit the weights and maybe spend a few weekends with Reggie in a mosh pit to train his mind to take contact more. If I were Bryan Colangelo I would force him to do a boot camp or force him to train with an MMA trainer. B

Marco Bellineli:I dunno what this man needs. I guess he just needs confidence. He shows he has the skills but seems so scatter brained about things that he should be in some kind of athletic remedial class for stupid animals. It boggles my mind too cause he plays so well for Italy internationally but he's just lost in translation here. D

Chris Bosh: What can you say about this guy. He bulked up and gave us all he had. Top 10 in PPG, top 10 in RPG. What else can you ask out of your franchise player? Some say he wasn't a good enough leader. I say that's bullshit. He's a better leader than most captains I've seen in Toronto pro sports. The guy was an absolute animal at some times during this season. It's too bad he was hampered by a few nagging injuries and that his team couldn't hold down the fort without him. It'll be a sad day to see him go. A+

Jose Calderon: I don't know whats wrong with this guy. He's not the Jose I knew 3 seasons ago. He's a human turnstile on defense and he's definitely lost a few steps on offense as well. I didn't foresee him aging this quickly right before my eyes. I am sure some team out there is willing to part ways with something for him. For now though, if he were to stay he would make a good serviceable backup point guard. C+

Amir Johnson: This is exactly the type of hustle guy we needed on this team but he needs to get more consistent and develop his go-to moves in the post. He also needs to learn how to shoot a jumper. That being said, I wouldn't say he had a disappointing year by any stretch but being the first big off the bench he should have given us a lot more. Let's hope the last 2 games of the season is a positive indication of the future and not just a few drops of water in a bucket of crap. B-

Demar Derozan: Give this guy a break. He's a rookie playing for a coach that guaranteed to sit his ass down in the fourth quarter regardless of how good or how bad he was playing. I think he did alright in his first year. Sonny's will and determination will rub off on him and he certainly has the work ethic *cough Bargnani cough*. I only see upside when I look at this kid. He needs to learn how to go after people on the defensive end like a doberman on a pork chop. Offensively he needs to work on the jumper a bit more. Considering it was his biggest weakness in pre draft reports, he has definitely improved but obviously he needs more. C+

Sonny Weems: Like i have been saying all season, everyone keeps sleeping on this kid's jumper. I think next year teams will think twice before daring him to take a shot. He's got quicks, lateral movement, good instincts on offense and defense and a good attitude. He just needs more. He needs to push himself to the next level. Spend the summer playing pickup games with better players. He's got a good jumper so he's got half of it figured out already. Imagine where this team would be if he would have started all season. B-

Antoine Wright: Our defensive stopper. Had a bad start to the season with an injury that really seemed to screw him over. Once he finally righted the ship he has been good for us. He also needs to be more consistent. Go down to the courts with Sonny and Demar and play summer ball with the hardcore guys down there. Work on every aspect of your game and I hope the Raptors welcome you back cause god knows this team needs any speck of defense it can get its dainty little Raptor claws on.

Hedo Turkoglu: You know how I feel about him. I know how you feel about him. He's a walking, talking, smirking, $55million dollar mistake. He's a black hole on both ends of the floor. That game he had where he got 19 rebs was a slap in the face of every Raptor fan out there. Here's what I can do when I try, the rest of the time, I frig off! What's his problem? Attitude, effort, focus, should I keep going? He's proven to have the skills but he doesn't have the will. I'll trade him for a sack of shit. How to improve? Do something Hedo, do anything. It'll all help more then whatever it is you're doing now. F-

My wishlist: If Bosh has to go, trade him to NY for either David Lee or Galinari. You know we won't get much in return since it's a sign and trade but either of those 2 pieces are good and I bet NY would be willing to part with just about anyone to get their hands on one of the top prizes this summer. I say we should blackmail them into taking Hedo and Jose as a part of the deal. I doubt even they are that stupid. Then again they did get Marbury, Steve Francis, Eddy Curry, Johnathan Bender, Larry Hughes... should I keep going?


Fire the coach? Sure, he hasn't proven he should stay. Why waste time on a guy like him when there are proven coaches out there with NBA experience? Why indeed. Do we keep him cause he's Canadian? Sure that's cool and all but as long as he's a winner. Which he is most certainly not.

Positive Note: We get some sort of mid first round draft pick this year. Which is better than nothing.

See you next season I guess. In the meantime I might blog about trades, the draft and the NHL playoffs. I hope you enjoyed this blog.